Thoughts on Twilight and Bella Swan

Let's talk about Twilight.  I went to see the first part of Breaking Dawn this last Saturday and decided that I cannot decide whether I like this series or not.

Most of the people I have talked to about this series openly hate the books.  They bash the cardboard characters, poor writing quality, and the sexism of the story.  And I completely agree!  Many of the characters are very dull and don't have much of a character journey.  Especially Bella, who most people say is selfish, annoying, clingy, obsessive, over-dramatic, over-emotional, whiny, stupid, and just plain pathetic.  And yes, at one point or another in these books she is at least one of these things if not all put together.

Bella can be seen as a complete disgrace to women everywhere!  Throughout the books she cannot seem to do a single thing for herself.  And when the "love of her life" is gone she emotionally falls apart, experiences hallucinations, and is completely oblivious to the fact that if she just accepts Jacob's sexy wolf love she will eventually forget about Edward and be able to love Jacob back.

Women are not this pathetic!  We don't need a man in our lives to make us tick.  We are completely capable of taking care of ourselves and functioning on our own.  Yes, it is nice to have a guy care about you, but having anyone care about you is enough to emotionally satisfy someone, even if it's just your family members that care for you!  Women are not just childbearing decorations.  We are strong, and smart, and nothing like Bella!

Bella Swan the epitome of a whiny teen.  She is constantly saying how plain and boring she is.  She hates the fact that she is clumsy and thinks that one flaw defines her as a person.  She fails to see that however "plain" and "boring" she is, within the first few chapters of the book she already has three men fawning all over her (not to mention that two of those men are fantastical beings who are supposed to be completely drop dead gorgeous.)  Not only that but Edward specifically says in the book that he feels as if he is lining up to get a date with her, and when Bella protests and denies that any boys like her Edward, using his powers of mindreading, says, "Should I name a few?  You know a couple, but some may surprise you" alluding to the fact that there are many more men who find her attractive and would enjoy dating her.  So obviously she is not plain or boring!

Now lets talk about the reasons I love it!

I secretly want to be Bella Swan.  She isn't ever reprimanded for her obvious self absorbed nature!  And I want to have gorgeous men fawning all over me.  I want to have a sexy vampire man vow his eternal love to me and promise to make me immortal and have him be a gentleman and not want to have premarital sex (I mean come on women! who wouldn't want a man like that?!?!)

Pause for a moment: I do not think that Robert Pattinson is attractive (lies! I do think he is attractive, just not vampire attractive.  They did a poor job on his makeup in the first couple movies and made him look sickly and gross, but luckily they are redeeming themselves and in Breaking Dawn I thought he was absolutely beautiful.)  I'm purely basing this attractiveness on the book description of Edward Cullen.  Like all vampires in the Twilight series he is described as impossibly beautiful and perfect.  His facial features are described and perfect and angular with high cheekbones, a strong jawline, a straight nose, and full lips.  His hair is bronze and always perfectly messy which contrasts his very pale, ice cold (and sparkly in the sunlight) skin.  His eyes are an amber topaz color.  And he is 6'2" with a slender but muscular body.  So who do I picture when I think of this description?

Hello Mike Vogel!

So anyways: Mike Vogel=Hot Edward Vampire!  Now onto the rest of this post...

I would also love to have a tan sinewy werewolf boy trying to break up my relationship with said hot vampire man (and unlike Bella I would let the beautiful native American werewolf sweep me off my feet and take me away from the pasty, blood drinking vampire.)  And yes, I think the casting of Taylor Lautner was perfect for Jacob!  I am a total fan of non white men, as I said in an earlier post, and that is probably why I would choose Jacob over Edward.  Plus if I had Jacob I would be able to live a regular life and grow old with someone and have children (not demonic vampire babies that eat their way out of my body but regular children that grow up and bear my grandchildren.)

Though some of you will argue that if I chose Jacob there would always be that possibility of him imprinting on someone other than me.  And to that I will argue back that if I was Bella and I chose Jacob, then I would have never had a half-vampire-half-human baby with Edward for him to ever imprint on!  So therefore the very attractive Taylor Lautner would forever be mine!

Now it is time for me to admit that the Twilight series is indeed my guilty pleasure.  It is still a love/hate relationship for all of the reasons I've listed, but I do thoroughly enjoy the story line.