Favorite Quote



I'm not saying that everything is survivable, just that everything except the last thing is.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Girlfriend Resume

Education

The School Of Life, Planet Earth (1992 - present)
Masters in Human Functioning with an emphasis is Sarcasm
  • Practical skills in how to communicate and interact with other humans
  • Rudimentary knowledge on courtship, dating, romance, and how to Human
Southern Utah University, Cedar City, Utah (2010 - 2014)
BFA in Musical Theatre
  • Skills in acting, singing, and dancing
  • Ability to entertain other humans
  • I am a goofball
Davis High School, Kaysville, Utah (2007-2010)
Class of 2010
  • I graduated High School and therefore have my life together
Romantic Experience

First Boyfriend, aka Guillermo
Young, Desperate, and Naive (2008 - 2010)

  • Acquired basic skills in dating
  • Gained experience in managing arguments
  • Brought on a new respect for myself
Second Boyfriend, aka Batman
Still learning (2010 - 2011)
  • Gained more experience in dating and romance
  • Obtained a knowledge on dating outside of the LDS religion
  • Acquired moderate listening skills with a specialization in grown-up issues
  • Learned a valuable lesson in dealing with ex-boyfriends
The Two Week Relationship, aka The Childish Adult
Confused and Bored (2011)
  • Acquired skills in taking care of children (and adults who act like children)
  • Strengthened my desire for a real man
  • Gained a new sense of playfulness in dating and romance
The Fling, aka The Older Man
Wild and Stupid (2012)
  • Leveled up in dating boldness
  • Learned the importance of fun and the value of consequences
Third Boyfriend, aka Jrshdfr
Older and Wiser (2013-2014)
  • Gained experience in cooking for men
  • Obtained an understanding of truly loving someone else
  • Acquired an understanding of how it feels to not be loved in the way I deserve
  • Learned the importance of dating someone with my same values
The Last Boyfriend, aka The RM
Excited to start something real (2014)
  • Learned that nobody is perfect
  • Gained experience in decrypting what men actually mean when they refuse to say what they want or need
  • Realized that it is possible to love again after suffering a broken heart
Special Skills, Personal Achievements, and Interests
  • Very good with children, and children with disabilities
  • Incredibly fun person with skills in spontaneity
  • Gorgeous
  • Good kisser
  • Outdoorswoman: activities include hiking, canoeing, river rafting, rock climbing, and camping
  • Fluent in sarcasm, sass, and Syd the Sloth
  • Skilled in baking, cooking, and basically following the recipe
  • Beautiful
  • Knowledge in how to human
  • I am awkward, and I enjoy it
  • Self diagnosed geek, need proof?
    • Marvel Superheros
    • DC Villains
    • The Legend of Zelda
    • D&D
    • Avatar the Last Airbender
    • HP? Always!
    • Skyrim
    • Pokemon
    • John Green and DFTBA
    • Miyazaki
  • Stunning
  • I can play the ukulele and sing, also the piano is a thing I can do
  • Bo staff skills, nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills
  • Avid quoter of movies, tv shows, and random obscure youtube videos
  • Skills in cutting sandwiches into adorable shapes (kids love this)
  • Occasional morbid sense of humor
  • Capable of driving a manual car
  • Very attractive and very humble about it
References

Frank Gasparro, Good friend
"It's a good thing you're pretty!" (said every time I do something awkward or strange)

McKenna Horman, Best friend
"I'll be your boyfriend."

Dorothy Dayton, Mother
"You're special... ed."

No comments:

Post a Comment