Favorite Quote

I'm not saying that everything is survivable, just that everything except the last thing is.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Girlfriend Resume


The School Of Life, Planet Earth (1992 - present)
Masters in Human Functioning with an emphasis is Sarcasm
  • Practical skills in how to communicate and interact with other humans
  • Rudimentary knowledge on courtship, dating, romance, and how to Human
Southern Utah University, Cedar City, Utah (2010 - 2014)
BFA in Musical Theatre
  • Skills in acting, singing, and dancing
  • Ability to entertain other humans
  • I am a goofball
Davis High School, Kaysville, Utah (2007-2010)
Class of 2010
  • I graduated High School and therefore have my life together
Romantic Experience

First Boyfriend, aka Guillermo
Young, Desperate, and Naive (2008 - 2010)

  • Acquired basic skills in dating
  • Gained experience in managing arguments
  • Brought on a new respect for myself
Second Boyfriend, aka Batman
Still learning (2010 - 2011)
  • Gained more experience in dating and romance
  • Obtained a knowledge on dating outside of the LDS religion
  • Acquired moderate listening skills with a specialization in grown-up issues
  • Learned a valuable lesson in dealing with ex-boyfriends
The Two Week Relationship, aka The Childish Adult
Confused and Bored (2011)
  • Acquired skills in taking care of children (and adults who act like children)
  • Strengthened my desire for a real man
  • Gained a new sense of playfulness in dating and romance
The Fling, aka The Older Man
Wild and Stupid (2012)
  • Leveled up in dating boldness
  • Learned the importance of fun and the value of consequences
Third Boyfriend, aka Jrshdfr
Older and Wiser (2013-2014)
  • Gained experience in cooking for men
  • Obtained an understanding of truly loving someone else
  • Acquired an understanding of how it feels to not be loved in the way I deserve
  • Learned the importance of dating someone with my same values
The Last Boyfriend, aka The RM
Excited to start something real (2014)
  • Learned that nobody is perfect
  • Gained experience in decrypting what men actually mean when they refuse to say what they want or need
  • Realized that it is possible to love again after suffering a broken heart
Special Skills, Personal Achievements, and Interests
  • Very good with children, and children with disabilities
  • Incredibly fun person with skills in spontaneity
  • Gorgeous
  • Good kisser
  • Outdoorswoman: activities include hiking, canoeing, river rafting, rock climbing, and camping
  • Fluent in sarcasm, sass, and Syd the Sloth
  • Skilled in baking, cooking, and basically following the recipe
  • Beautiful
  • Knowledge in how to human
  • I am awkward, and I enjoy it
  • Self diagnosed geek, need proof?
    • Marvel Superheros
    • DC Villains
    • The Legend of Zelda
    • D&D
    • Avatar the Last Airbender
    • HP? Always!
    • Skyrim
    • Pokemon
    • John Green and DFTBA
    • Miyazaki
  • Stunning
  • I can play the ukulele and sing, also the piano is a thing I can do
  • Bo staff skills, nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills
  • Avid quoter of movies, tv shows, and random obscure youtube videos
  • Skills in cutting sandwiches into adorable shapes (kids love this)
  • Occasional morbid sense of humor
  • Capable of driving a manual car
  • Very attractive and very humble about it

Frank Gasparro, Good friend
"It's a good thing you're pretty!" (said every time I do something awkward or strange)

McKenna Horman, Best friend
"I'll be your boyfriend."

Dorothy Dayton, Mother
"You're special... ed."

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