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I'm not saying that everything is survivable, just that everything except the last thing is.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

How to Seduce Men (Awkward Edition)

Throughout rehearsals for The Smoke Scenes I have learned that I am not very good at being seductive.  Then we changed our concept for the show and I learned that I am extremely good at being awkward, so we ended up combining these two things and we came up with Awkward Seduction.

Step 1: Sit so close to him that every part of your sides are touching.
Step 2: Stare at the side of his face very intently until he looks at you then quickly turn your head away.  Repeat this step several times.
Step 3: Lean your head like you are about to lean on his shoulder but let your head hover over his shoulder instead.
Step 4: After your neck begins to seize up from holding it in that odd position for so long finally let it rest on his shoulder.
Step 5: Slowly inch your hand from your knee over to his knee.
Step 6: When he shifts his leg away from your hand and his shoulder away from your head cough really quick and put your arm around his shoulder.
Step 7: Grab his pectoral muscle while your arm is around his neck.
Step 8: When he moves your arm from his shoulders point to the other side of him and ask "Hey, what's that?" while you jump onto him in a straddle position.
 Step 9: No matter what happens after that just pretend that absolutely nothing has ever happened between the two of you.

And that is how you awkwardly seduce a man.

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