Girlfriend Resume

Education

The School Of Life, Planet Earth (1992 - present)
Masters in Human Functioning with an emphasis is Sarcasm

• Practical skills in how to communicate and interact with other humans
• Rudimentary knowledge on courtship, dating, romance, and how to Human

Southern Utah University, Cedar City, Utah (2010 - 2014)

BFA in Musical Theatre

• Skills in acting, singing, and dancing
• Ability to entertain other humans
• I am a goofball

Davis High School, Kaysville, Utah (2007-2010)

Class of 2010

• I graduated High School and therefore have my life together

Romantic Experience

First Boyfriend, aka Guillermo

Young, Desperate, and Naive (2008 - 2010)

• Acquired basic skills in dating
• Gained experience in managing arguments
• Brought on a new respect for myself

Second Boyfriend, aka Batman

Still learning (2010 - 2011)

• Gained more experience in dating and romance
• Obtained a knowledge on dating outside of the LDS religion
• Acquired moderate listening skills with a specialization in grown-up issues
• Learned a valuable lesson in dealing with ex-boyfriends

The Two Week Relationship, aka The Childish Adult

Confused and Bored (2011)

• Acquired skills in taking care of children (and adults who act like children)
• Strengthened my desire for a real man
• Gained a new sense of playfulness in dating and romance

The Fling, aka The Older Man

Wild and Stupid (2012)

• Leveled up in dating boldness
• Learned the importance of fun and the value of consequences

Third Boyfriend, aka Jrshdfr

Older and Wiser (2013-2014)

• Gained experience in cooking for men
• Obtained an understanding of truly loving someone else
• Acquired an understanding of how it feels to not be loved in the way I deserve
• Learned the importance of dating someone with my same values

The Last Boyfriend, aka The RM

Excited to start something real (2014)

• Learned that nobody is perfect
• Gained experience in decrypting what men actually mean when they refuse to say what they want or need
• Realized that it is possible to love again after suffering a broken heart

Special Skills, Personal Achievements, and Interests

• Very good with children, and children with disabilities
• Incredibly fun person with skills in spontaneity
• Gorgeous
• Good kisser
• Outdoorswoman: activities include hiking, canoeing, river rafting, rock climbing, and camping
• Fluent in sarcasm, sass, and Syd the Sloth
• Skilled in baking, cooking, and basically following the recipe
• Beautiful
• Knowledge in how to human
• I am awkward, and I enjoy it
• Self diagnosed geek, need proof?
• Marvel Superheros
• DC Villains
• The Legend of Zelda
• D&D
• Avatar the Last Airbender
• HP? Always!
• Skyrim
• Pokemon
• John Green and DFTBA
• Miyazaki
• Stunning
• I can play the ukulele and sing, also the piano is a thing I can do
• Bo staff skills, nunchuck skills, computer hacking skills
• Avid quoter of movies, tv shows, and random obscure youtube videos
• Skills in cutting sandwiches into adorable shapes (kids love this)
• Occasional morbid sense of humor
• Capable of driving a manual car
• Very attractive and very humble about it

References

Frank Gasparro, Good friend

"It's a good thing you're pretty!" (said every time I do something awkward or strange)

McKenna Horman, Best friend

"I'll be your boyfriend."

Dorothy Dayton, Mother

"You're special... ed."